Today i have to say i was privelaged to be able to witness the testimonies of a great man of god. I love hearing testimonies of selfless men and women of god who carry out god's will in the hardship of their own lives, yet do it with humility, kindness, always encouraging those around them instead of tearing down in their circumstances. When i heard stories of such courage, i have to say i got perspective in my own circumstances.
To be honest I've been looking at my 'loss' in a negative light. Always focusing on what ive lost rather than what god's put in my hand already that im too stubborn to see and use. What i witnessed today was a warrior of christ who was absolutely souled out for christ, A fellow brethren who displayed a valiant armourbearing spirit. Im convinced that the testimonies and speeches spoken today was not by coincidence, but these testimonies sparked a passion in my own heart to live with conviction, ---some thoughts were running through my mind today--- that our days are numbered... What are we doing with the precious time given to us? cause if we're just living half-heartedly in what we do, then its a waste of time in my eyes. Anything worth having is going to be hard. Something worth throwing yourself fully into it, full body weight all or nothing lunge, rather than a half-strength wimpy jab. i guess thats what ive been asking myself these days, are you so scared as to be afraid to even step out of your comfort zone to be certain that your bro is alright or to share the gospel with someone at first sight of opportunity? cause i know for certain god didnt call me to live in my insecurities, in the condemnation of my sins, in my failures but rather to cast off these restraints and run the race marked out for me.
This is my prayer tonight:
That i may step out of my comfort zone, out of mundanity and conformity and into a place where there will be no hesitation to answer when your holy spirit calls. Lord ive been restrained in this for too long, i just pray you help me get to that place of total surrender again lord. Help me be rid of my own agendas once more so i can be used for your glory, lord. You see your faithful servant Nat, what a man of god he is by your hands. I pray that one day you'll bless him with an amazing woman of god in your timing by his faithfulness to you, and that one day I pray that i too can inspire people with the life i live out for you lord. I just want to forget all the hurt, the pains, to forgive and forget. and to just pursue you with all of me, to try and love you at a whole nother level and live out your will for all of my days. I love you so much Lord Jesus. I dont just want to say that with empty words but help me to live that out fully, in Jesus' name i pray. Amen
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