Where are you heading?
What do you want to see come out of your leadership next year?
Where is the passion?
What is becoming of your quiet times?
What do you need to and can do now to prepare for what god's calling you to?
Where is your heart at?
How is your personal relationship and spiritual walk going?

These are some of the questions ive been asked and asking myself in this season. After going through the storm, i guess im not too sure what i should be doing atm, what i should be aiming for, most of all what aspect i need to focus on for god's calling. Ive felt as if life atm is just going through the motions. Mundane, Routine, Bored, Jobless, you name it.. i guess staying up till 3 o clock at night doesn't exactly help me to seek him.

i guess what has been on my mind is going into leadership for next year. When Val asked me "What do you want to see come out of your leadership next year?" i was kinda lost for words. I wasnt exactly sure i needed that degree of preparation to lead, to be honest i was going to jump straight in.

But i guess one thing that really concerned me and worried me is how we're going to help the boys be all that your've called them to be? and i guess i started thinking really secular thoughts like "What if they dont like me or cant work with me?, what if i cant connect with them? I guess what i was really seeing was images of failure from what the enemy was sowing, and just really questioning whether I was really called for leadership.

But i know those thoughts are wrong. I guess it took me till now (with the help of my bro's words of encouragement) to realise that we can't lead if we're trying to be something we aren't. The only person that your boys will follow and respect is simply put.

You

IF we try and put up a facade to hide the real us, How can you expect your boys to be real to us when we arent to them?

i guess if theres a code i wanna lead by its this:

-Always keep it real
-Lead by example, not experience.
-Speak with your lifestyle and actions.

... and i guess thats all for now :P (im tired maybe ill edit this post later.. i tend to rant a bit)