When someone asks, "Jeff How did you come to be such a leader on fire for god?" On that day all i can say is, In his strength alone when god took me the long way rather than the shortcut way option. (A testimony i wanna live out to tell one day)
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There was a time once when i met a great woman of god, I liked her a lot and i thought it could happen between us, that i could pursue her as my future wife. I felt that everything she was was perfect, i really loved all that she was. I remember so many times in those 1.5 years, i asked god, "why cant i lord? shes different from any other girl ive had a crush on. Both of us are saved, we like the same things etc." But God's answer was still always "no, I've got someone better in stall for you, Jeff. This is not your season"
Nonetheless the time came when i had to say goodbye when she left us to go home and i guess when she left, it really crushed me to see her go, and it really took all of who i was to deny myself of my selfish desires and pursue god's desires over my life.
But god is not someone who takes away and leaves us in the dirt, He might have taken her away (to a higher calling) but he also brought me to the next chapter in my life, one ive been searching and seeking for for so very long.. God brought forth new opportunities to serve him in leadership and sow into amazing young men of god, in work and university but most importantly, in salvation of my friends and family.
For that, no soul mate that god offered me could ever be of same value of what he gave me instead, the joy of the lord in my heart, the joy of the lord in even being able to serve his kingdom in things that would otherwise be unfathomable if done in my own strength. That is how i am the man i am today ;)
(I believe that whats more important than your future wife is your own godly identity and ordained purpose, what we're called to do for god's kingdom, In every guy is an insatiable hunger to be selflessly used by god for greatness, to feel significant in their own and god's eyes. I dare say, every being has a god shaped void in their hearts where they have tried and failed to satisfy that hole with carnal urges, drugs and suppressants, fame and fortune etc. That void can only be filled with your calling and purpose for god in this 1 precious life that we possess.)
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Lord, i just pray that these words and testimony you spoke into being through the yearning in my heart wont fall void to my own ears and to those that hear it. I pray you hold me to this prayer also that one day i can look back and realise your works of wonders in my life and give you praise even more so. I pray and know that even though i dont know when the season is when i meet my soul-partner but i pray you give me the courage and the perseverance to trust in you no matter how dire my circumstances. I just pray you use me for your will again, day after day, I would never be the man i am today even if as much as one of my circumstances of the past did not happen so i give you glory for them lord. Thank you that I know now that i am in the smack bang centre of your will for my life. Let this testimony glorify your name alone and shape me into the man you want me to become, cause i know you're not done with me yet ;) I love you as always, probably never as much as you love me but nonetheless, thank you lord! Lover of ever essence of my being. In Jesus name i pray, Amen.
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