The burden is finally lifted

For 1 and a half years ive been liking this awesome woman of god.. but with no pursuit and i guess since shes leaving at the end of the year i told her my feelings towards her. She took it really well and really understood me, praise god, shes srsly a jewel and i hope that shes well blessed when we goes back to her hometown. Shes gonna do amazing things, lord.. i really love her as an amazing sister in christ and i pray that if anything we can only continue to be better friends to each other ;) thank you lord. You really made today a great day for me..

Hey, can i talk to you alone?

yeh sure jeff

Ive been wanting to tell you this for a while.. and well i hope you dont take this as too much as a shock but Ive had a crush on you for probably the last one and a half years, I thought I'd let you know cause i felt as if you needed to hear it from me. And well if ive been ignorant or awkward or weird around you, i just wanna apologise about it...

Jeff, i dont think you're weird

haha but yeh I know our gap is pretty big and i really dont think im ready to start a relationship but i know that you probably are in that season where you're ready for one and god's called you to do great things in indonesia and i really just wanna honour that. I know that god's got an amazing husband waiting for you ;) thanks for all these years, You'rve really blessed me with your message, like the one that you spoke about family, and yeh it just really impacted my life ;) i guess in all honesty, cause i saw you as an amazing beautiful woman of god, i kind of felt really intimidated by you

ohh really? im sorry

nah it isnt your fault.. the last thing i want to see is for u to think its your fault cause its really my fault for not coming out and talking about it earlier but If theres anything i ever regret its that i let my feelings get in the way of us becoming better friends..

aww jeff you're an amazing guy, thanks for that

long story short after that i talked to her as friend would. And man well it felt really real, like a burden was lifted from my heart im just glad i have nothing else to hide. nothing else to distract me in church from you, god. Thank you for helping her understand lord and for me to speak my feelings and thoughts, i can move on now...

I really praise and thank you for what an amazing day this has been.. first with Gea's message and then later with making things work out for us ;) you are amazing lord, 2 days ago i was balling my eyes out but today you really answered my prayers.. and i really owe it to you lord ;) THANK YOU! XD!

Not only that you showed me where you want me, when Val challenged me about leadership for next year.. "what do i want to see come out of serving in leadership?" what do i need to prepare myself for? and i can really see what you want for my life..

In a way today was like the putting to death of the past... and welcoming of whats to come. I feel as if i have purpose.. significance.. ive been called to be a leader for the next generation of men of god to come. And i can only pray you work through me.. no pride, no glory to us, but we give it to u lord ;). Caleb really spoke something that challenged me today.. taking ownership of our church, responsibility for our service, cause ultimately its up to us to build it up, we are the next generation, we're willing lord.

I know this season is not a time for me to be looking for relationships. I just have to finish what ive started in university for your glory. Come out and have a stable job and rake it in for ur kingdom and to be a blessing to others ;) Thank you lord
I know you have an amazing wife in stall for me. I cant wait till that day i find her and she finds me.. I see what caleb and joyce have to go through to be with each other.. and i believe that i'll have to go through something like that one day. Maybe im already going through it this season already but the two of them, they honestly honour you first with their lives and love. I can only stand by and give minor support and rebuke along the way.. but you are the one that keeps them together but also closer to you and your purpose for their lives. I can only thank you for what an amazing man of god my brother is, and an amazing sister in christ she is for you,

What can i say lord? its a dream story come true.. If it makes me this happy hearing about Caleb talk about it.. how much more does he thank you and love you for what you'rve given him.. this mighty man of valor thats gonna change the world.

Im content lord. I cant say enough thank you's to ever express myself but thank you from the bottom of my heart. All those times i cried my eyes out, when i felt you abandoned me, when i was hurting and broken. I know it was all done out of love for me.. i know now.. 1 and a half years of perseverance.. :D you have never forsaken me. I can only trust you even more.

Yet im still confused as to where you want me to be, where my calling is.. my direction is leadership, but what i wanna see is what my life calling is, where my ministry is. I'm just existing lord.. i want more of you, i want more of you in my cg boys lives. I can never get enough of you lord. You make my day :D! LOVE YOU SO MUCH LORD JESUS! XD! you're amazing! im so happy! :P

thank you again :P